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La durée de 00:18:10 secondes et le titre Hommes soumis : Conseils de rencontres pour le monde réel sont à prendre en compte, ainsi que les informations de l’auteur et la description qui suit :« Bienvenue sur How To Be A Domme, la chaîne sur la domination professionnelle, avec l’auteur Evangelline DuBois, éducatrice BDSM et dominatrice professionnelle. #safesaneconsensual #femaleempowerment #dominatrix #prodomme #goddesswroship #education #guru #author #expert #bdsm l #medical #dungeon #roleplay #goddesswoship #punishment #submale #subfemale #subspace #dating #relationship Vous pouvez m’envoyer un e-mail à londomme @ gmail com ».
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Mêler la punition aux interactions BDSM
Les cadres et outils utilisés dans la pratique de la punition
Dans le but de diversifier les expériences, on peut intégrer des pinces, des bougies ou des cordes, qui offrent une forme alternative de contrôle et de stimulation. Ces accessoires, utilisés avec précaution, transforment la punition en un rituel commun, à la fois intense et sensuel, où le plaisir découle autant de la scénographie que de l’acte. Dans le SM, la punition s’inscrit souvent dans des mises en scène ou des jeux de rôle, conférant une dimension psychologique et théâtrale à la dynamique dominant·e/soumis·e. Ces scénarios symboliques permettent d’explorer le pouvoir dans un cadre consensuel et codifié. La dominante peut, par exemple, endosser le rôle d’une cheffe rigoureuse qui sanctionne son employé pour une faute fictive, renforçant ainsi son autorité par la fiction. Une maîtresse doit aussi corriger son esclave masculin pour une désobéissance, accentuant le contraste entre contrôle et soumission. Certains pratiquent un « tribunal bdsm » où le soumis est jugé selon des règles fixées à l’avance et puni en fonction d’un verdict scénarisé. Ces jeux offrent une palette d’exploration riche sur les plans érotique et émotionnel. Les instruments varient selon l’intensité recherchée : la fessée à main nue, classique et intime, ou des accessoires comme la canne, le martinet ou la paddle pour des sensations plus fortes et ciblées.
Mélanger douleur et plaisir pour une expérience sensuelle et intense
Dans une relation SM, la douleur infligée lors d’une punition est avant tout un outil au service d’une dynamique psychologique et émotionnelle profonde. Utilisée avec précaution, elle suscite un lâcher-prise où la personne soumise se remet pleinement à l’autorité. Cet abandon, conscient et volontaire, renforce la confiance et le lien. La douleur peut aussi déclencher une intensité émotionnelle forte, parfois cathartique, libérant des émotions enfouies et induisant un état de conscience altéré. Loin d’être un simple choc physique, la douleur dans le SM est une source de sensations complexes et profondes. Ce partage forge un lien solide entre dominant et soumis, reposant sur la confiance, l’écoute et le respect mutuel des limites, dans un cadre sûr. La douleur compte moins pour elle-même que pour ce qu’elle déclenche et édifie dans la relation. Savoir lire les signaux corporels et émotionnels du soumis est vital : trop de douleur annihile le plaisir, trop peu le réduit.
Mettre en œuvre un protocole d’aftercare rigoureux
la raison principale d’appliquer une sanction
La punition dans le cadre BDSM, quand elle est portée par le respect, l’écoute et l’imagination, se transforme en un puissant instrument de lien affectif, de contrôle et de désir mutuel. Pour les couples où la femme prend le rôle dominant face à un homme soumis, elle établit une dynamique érotique marquante et personnalisée.
Après la séance, préserver l’harmonie émotionnelle du couple
L’aftercare, ou soin après une séance bdsm intense, est une phase essentielle pour apaiser, réconforter et consolider la relation. Plusieurs rituels peuvent être proposés selon les besoins : un câlin enveloppant sous une couverture pour réchauffer et rassurer, un mot doux pour soutenir la personne soumise, ou un bain chaud et un massage pour détendre le corps et prolonger la sensation de complicité. S’accorder un moment d’échange sur ce qui a plu ou dérangé, ce qui a fonctionné ou non, permet de préparer au mieux les futures pratiques et de renforcer la connexion. L’aftercare constitue un espace de soin mutuel, de respect et d’ancrage, transformant la scène SM en un acte riche en humanité et partage. Suite à une sanction bdsm intense, l’aftercare joue un rôle capital. La soumission fait émerger des émotions puissantes, telles que la honte, la tristesse, le soulagement ou l’euphorie, qu’il est indispensable de recevoir avec empathie.
Fonder une dynamique de domination saine et équilibrée
Emploi des safewords et respect des procédures de sécurité
Le safeword est le signal vital. Il permet au soumis de mettre un terme immédiat à la rencontre quand il sent que ses limites sont dépassées. Sans ce mot, la punition SM risque de tomber dans l’excès. Garantir la sureté dans une pratique SM impliquant sanctions ou jeux de pouvoir repose sur quelques règles incontournables. Il est essentiel de définir un safeword, un mot simple et inhabituel dans le cadre érotique, par exemple « rouge », qui sert de signal d’alerte immédiat. Ce mot donne à la personne soumise la capacité de stopper la rencontre dès qu’une limite est atteinte, assurant un consentement permanent. Par ailleurs, un protocole précis doit être mis en place pour interrompre toute activité en urgence, qu’il s’agisse d’un mot, d’un geste ou d’un signe convenu, particulièrement si la parole est limitée. S’exprimer est essentiel : il faut toujours discuter avant la séance pour définir les limites, les envies et les espaces à explorer, puis prendre le temps, après, d’échanger sur les ressentis, les ajustements possibles et le vécu de chacun·e. Ces précautions ne limitent pas le jeu, elles en sont la condition sine qua non, car elles assurent la sureté physique et émotionnelle et permettent au pouvoir de circuler librement dans un climat de confiance.
Le pilier que représentent la confiance et le consentement
Définir clairement les limites est fondamental : distinguer ce qui est tolérable, ce qui est à la limite du supportable, et ce qui ne l’est pas. Ces repères permettent d’ajuster la sanction selon les accords passés et de conserver un climat de confiance. Il est aussi crucial d’identifier les comportements qui méritent une discipline, afin que la sanction garde tout son poids, reste rare et significative, et ne devienne pas une routine ou une injustice. C’est cette rigueur d’écoute, de préparation et d’intention qui donne à la punition sa force dans le lien dominant·e/soumis·e, quel que soit le genre ou la nature de la relation. Au cœur de toute liaison SM, particulièrement dans la soumission masculine, le consentement constitue la base essentielle. La dominatrice s’appuie sur une confiance totale de son soumis, tout comme ce dernier repose sur elle. Cela nécessite un échange sincère et précis concernant les limites, les attentes, les désirs, ainsi que les interdits. Dans une dynamique BDSM, la punition ne doit jamais être imposée sans une connaissance approfondie de son ou sa partenaire soumis·e, afin d’assurer un cadre sûr, consensuel et érotique, qui nourrit la liaison sans la fragiliser émotionnellement.
Saisir le sens de la discipline dans le BDSM
Explorer les types de sanctions et leurs objectifs
Dans une relation SM, quelle que soit la composition du couple, certaines formes de sanction sont régulièrement employées pour affermir la hiérarchie consensuelle. La fessée, administrée de diverses manières, incarne un classique de la discipline corporelle. Le contrôle du plaisir, par l’orgasme différé ou interdit, renforce l’influence du dominant. D’autres pratiques, comme les postures inconfortables ou la chasteté imposée, contraignent le corps et l’esprit. Enfin, les sanctions verbales – comme le mutisme, l’humiliation contrôlée ou le rappel à l’ordre – rappellent les rôles établis.
Règles et sanctions
La dynamique sadomaso transforme la punition en un outil relationnel, porteur de sens, exercé dans un cadre clair entre une femme en position de pouvoir et un homme qui y consent. Fessée, silence, lignes à copier : autant de punitions SM possibles. Elles obéissent à une logique de discipline partagée, visant à renforcer les règles établies et à alimenter l’intensité du lien.
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Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: Hello and welcome to How to Be a Dom, the channel all about professional domination. I’m Evangelene Dubois, author of the first ever do-it-yourself book on professional domination. My book is called How to Be a Dom, the Practical Guide to Becoming a Professional Dominatrix. It is not actually available, so this is me telling you everything. Welcome. So, in this series, we’re going to talk about uh things that are related to what I do. Um, this is a series called demystifying women. One of the reasons why I have clients that come to see me is because women are not something that men easily understand. I would say most men are baffled and mystified by women. Um, I don’t think this is uh to say anything bad about men or women. I’m just saying I encounter a lot of different men in my life, in my personal professional life, and all of them seem to have one thing in common. Um, they cannot get a grasp on how to date or perhaps uh to communicate or get what they want out of relationships. Perhaps they don’t understand themselves or perhaps they don’t understand uh human interactions or perhaps they don’t understand women. So, this series is meant for you if that is. So, me being me, a Virgo dominatrix who likes to think and a a writer, I’ve come up with some ideas here um about different men’s personalities. So, perhaps this video will help women, give them insight, but it’s more meant for men to help them understand themselves. So basically what I’ve come up with is there’s four categories of men. Okay? There are the gentle intuitive types. And and you as a as a man can have more than one of these characteristics. So there’s a gentle intuitive type. There’s the intelligent well-mannered type. There is someone who has problems with women who are uncomfortable or perhaps unsuccessful at dealing with with women. And there are people who are very talkative and very dominant. So when I meet these people in my personal life and I meet these people in my professional life, um it’s very easy for me to sort of identify things about them. So let’s talk first about the gentle intuitive type. So this can go anywhere from somebody who is a virgin and completely shy, will never speak to women to someone who is just very respectful. One of the things that can occur in this category with men who are sort of gentle and intuitive is they can have had an experience in life that has taken their self-worth away. Now, this isn’t the case for every man who fits these characteristics. Some of these men do have self-worth. They’re just very quiet. They’re just very shy. They’re not very forthcoming. But if you are already a nondominant male, you can have had many experiences in life to teach you that that is bad and that you are to be sort of [ __ ] on by everyone around you. So when those clients come to me, they’re in very good hands because I not only will understand them sort of intuitively um but I know how to treat them. Okay, I can pull that out. uh meaning I can show these men that I respect who they are. Okay, I respect the fact that they are not macho. They are not dominant. Um and that they are they can be sensitive and shy. Um I don’t think it’s anything to be laughed at if somebody’s a virgin. I mean look at our world today. Look how difficult it is for people to just simply meet each other despite all the technology. Um, the world is in a in a big mess socially right now. So, the second most dominant type of male that I see or meet is someone who is intelligent and well-mannered. I really appreciate that because I’m an intellectual. Um, these people are able to tolerate ambiguity, which means they’re able to come into my space and not really know what’s going to happen and still maintain a sense of themselves or a sense of um, optimism or comfort with what’s going on. Um, they’re emotionally intelligent usually and they’re able to roll with what I’m doing. So, these are the people that I get along best with because I have a little bit in common with them. Um, intelligent subs are my preference because like I said, I’m intelligent. I’m an intellectual. I like to have conversations. Um, but I also just I personally feel safer when I’m in any situation, professionally or personally, with somebody who is intelligent. I just do. That’s just the way I am. Um, and it could go both ways for the client. them knowing that I’m, you know, an intellectual that’s written books that is authoritative can also make this type of client feel more comfortable knowing that we have that in common. Uh, another sort of aspect that I see in men, and I don’t really want to call this a type, I’m just going to say there are men out there that are very distraught when it comes to relationships with women. They may have never been able to have a relationship. They may have had bad experiences. uh they’re not necessarily shy or a virgin. They’re just someone who has had a rough time with women. Um they might be scared. They might be unsure how to approach women. And their behavior. So their anxieties about situations in the past that have made them feel nervous will be one reason they might come to see me because they’re kind of fed up. Maybe they don’t maybe they’ve had bad experiences and bad luck. Maybe they genuinely don’t know how to talk to women at all. So, they’re coming to me to receive a different experience, a different perspective. Um, they often will behave as if they feel comfortable around women, but they’ll kind of maybe have underlying stuff that they’re not even aware of or they don’t understand that could be kind of getting in the way of feeling comfortable, like actually feeling comfortable with women. They might be drawn to women but not able to fulfill what they want which is a relationship or something related. They also might be angry with women um or authority authority figures in their lives and they might be uh going into BDSM subconsciously to kind of work this out to create some order. And believe it or not, BDSM does create order. There is a set of rules. It’s a different situation to relate between a man and a woman or man and man or woman and woman. Um, it’s a different scenario, BDSM, and I will go into that in another video because I find that very interesting. Now, here’s everyone’s favorite type, uh, the annoying person. the man that is very talkative, very dominant, totally unaware of himself, um, ignorant and doesn’t listen. Now, this can be from having bad experiences in life, especially with women or men, being bullied, but it can also come from just a complete and utter lack of ability to relate to women. Okay. So, this can be someone who is behaving in a way that is um embarrassing or annoying, like just too much, okay? Too much macho, too much talking. It’s unbalanced. Um and that’s fine when people come through my door. And by the way, throughout the this video series, I’m relating both to personal things in the real world, like dating, relationships, and BDSM. So, I hope it won’t be too confusing, but this type of a man or a man that has this aspect to his personality will be mildly dominant in my present, will be talkative because maybe they’re nervous and maybe they don’t really want to give up control. Maybe they don’t really feel comfortable with it. They’re just intrigued by it and they don’t exactly know how to approach it. In dating, this kind of man will talk over the woman. He will talk more than the woman and he will not even know that he is doing it. So unless he happens to meet a woman on a date in a dating situation and she is a quieter type that doesn’t mind this, he’s not going to have success. He is a person who can’t listen. He is a person who doesn’t have any balance when it comes to conversation. So, that’s what this series is going to be about. It’s going to be about helping men that have these different personality behaviors um to find more success in relationships or BDSM. Most men when it comes to approaching women, I find are excited. Okay? They they want something out of it. They don’t know how to get there. They try to follow the steps. Uh for example, I have friends, female friends who are doing online dating. Okay? So they will match with a bunch of men and these men will literally just talk to them for days, for weeks, longer. Nobody wants this. Okay? So, if you’re a man and you’re dating, some women will want to have conversations before they meet you, which I think is makes complete sense if you’re a woman because you want to sus this person out. Men are a lot tougher and stronger than women. It’s only natural for us to be the one to make the decision. Say, « Okay, I’m ready to talk. I’m ready to see you now. We’ve had enough conversations. » However, it can go both ways. Some men will kind of blah blah blah blah blah talk and talk and talk on an app and the woman’s like, « I need to see you in person. I need to hear your voice. I need to know how you behave. » Okay? So, just understand that everything is about balance from dating to seeing a dom. Okay? Do you want to see a dom not telling her what you want? No. That would be completely unbalanced. It’s the same thing with dating. You have to both create space for your own voice and say, « This is what I would like to do. Would you like to do this, too? This is what I’m about. What are you about? Would you like to meet again in a week? Would you like a little more time? Maybe I should back off and and let you make the decisions. » So, this whole series basically is about helping men find a little bit more footing when it comes to uh dealing with women in their lives. So, to simplify it even more, let’s say there’s a continuum, okay? There’s a line between this finger and this finger. This finger are the men I just talked about, the ones that are dominant. They talk too much. They don’t inquire. They just blah blah blah blah blah. Why? Because they’re nervous. They’re nervous about talking to a woman. I would say a lot of men work in capacities with mostly men. Okay. Um, so they’re used to dealing with certain types of personalities, conversations, and scenarios where they’re put in a situation, a dating situation. They are going to feel like a fish out of water. So, what are they going to do? They’re going to do their manly soap boxing and talk about themselves. That’s what every man does that I’ve been on a date with. I would say 95% of men in the past that I’ve dated do that. And what do I do? I literally will get up and walk away. There was one time when I was I was going on a walk with a guy and we had had a meal at a restaurant. He’d been pretty much talking the whole time. This is about 10 years though. And we were on this path in this park and we were walking for maybe 5 10 minutes and I was done. I was like, he’s not asking me anything about myself. Therefore, I don’t really feel like sharing. If somebody’s not interested in me or what I have to say, it’s usually because they’re nervous and they don’t know how to talk. But it makes me feel and other women feel like they’re not interested in us. Therefore, what the [ __ ] are we doing with this person? So, we got to the fork in the path and I said, « Okay, I’m going to go now. » And he he was like he gave me a look and I was like, « Well, all you’ve done is talk about yourself and I I don’t find that interesting, so I got to go. » And he just kind of stood there flabbergasted. Another time I went out for sushi with somebody and he was nice, but he couldn’t look at me. He didn’t ask me any questions and then he kind of stopped talking. So at one point I literally was looking at the floor. I was like okay that is not me. So I’m just saying that there’s a lot of miscommunication and misunderstanding in dates. Sometimes it flows. Sometimes it looks like it’s flowing but it’s not. It might just be one person thinking. Okay. So the key to everything is balance. It’s a give and take. So on the other the other end of the spectrum over here we have people have no spine, no voice, no self-esteem. Okay? And that makes a complete imbalance and the woman has to do all the work. Do I find this on dates? Not really. Okay. Do I find this in my business? Yes. These people come to me because some of them maybe are autistic. Some of them literally have no idea how to deal with women. They don’t know how to talk to women. They don’t know what they like. They might be a virgin. They um might have had someone in their life who was very dominating who kind of crushed their ability to learn how to relate better to women. And it might be across the board. It might be just the way they are with everyone. Very very very quiet and um not able to express themselves. So where do we want to be? Do we want to be, you know, unable to talk or do we want to be too talkative? We don’t want any of that. We want to be here. So, if you’re here, I want you to try to meet me here. If you’re here, I want you to try to meet me here. In the middle, we have someone who listens, can share, someone who is comfortable um telling you a little bit about themselves without disclosing maybe on the first date they’re kinky. someone who is open, right? So, if you’re finding that your date is is is you’re a man, you’re finding your date is doing all of the talking and you don’t like that, it’s always good to bring it more into the middle, right? The ideal balance is that we are sharing a conversation and the decision making 50/50, meaning this has been a good coffee date. Would you like to go out for dinner on Friday night? Okay, somebody will say that or If the date hasn’t been going well, um you don’t want to make another plan, right? You want to just say something polite like, « Oh, it was nice meeting you. I actually have to go now. » Um and then if they inquire, you can say, « We can talk in a couple of days. » Something like that. Even if you don’t mean to, it makes people very, very scared when they have to say, « I don’t like you. [ __ ] off. I never want to see you again. » So, it’s always okay for you to say, « Oh, maybe we’ll talk in a couple of days. » you know, and just leave it at that. So, good questions to ask somebody um on a date to make it balanced are this is what I do for a living. You know, I’m a pilot. I do this and you know, what do you do for a living? Then it gives the woman an opportunity to go, oh, that’s really interesting. You’re a pilot. Tell me more about that. And then she’ll tell you about herself. So, you can’t just start talking about yourself. You have to qualify it preemptively by understanding that the conversation requires balance. And that means if you don’t like talking, you’re going to have to work on that because dating is about getting to know the person. There are exceptions to this, I’m sure. Okay, there’s probably lots of them. But for the most part, the real challenge for men is that balance of conversation that is going to kind of make or break how successful the date goes, whether there’s going to be another date, and how you’re feeling when you’re on the So, thanks for being here. Um, I’m happy to hear some feedback from you about these experiences that you might have had or this video. Um again my point is just to bridge uh gaps for men in dealing with women professionally with Dom or personally. Um I find that I get a lot of clients who have these issues and that’s one of the reasons why they come to see me. So, I really hope I’m getting closer to the heart of the matter with my clients, and I would love to hear some feedback from you about .
Déroulement de la vidéo:
5.12 Hello and welcome to How to Be a Dom,
7.359 the channel all about professional
9.2 domination. I’m Evangelene Dubois,
11.759 author of the first ever do-it-yourself
13.759 book on professional domination.
16.96 My book is called How to Be a Dom, the
18.8 Practical Guide to Becoming a
20.16 Professional Dominatrix. It is not
22.4 actually available, so this is me
25.279 telling you everything. Welcome.
29.279 So, in this series, we’re going to talk
31.599 about uh things that are related to what
34.559 I do. Um, this is a series called
37.76 demystifying women. One of the reasons
40.719 why I have clients that come to see me
43.04 is because women are not something that
46.0 men easily understand. I would say most
49.2 men are baffled and mystified by women.
52.559 Um, I don’t think this is uh to say
55.36 anything bad about men or women. I’m
57.52 just saying I encounter a lot of
59.6 different men in my life, in my personal
61.6 professional life, and all of them seem
64.4 to have one thing in common. Um, they
66.96 cannot get a grasp on how to date or
70.72 perhaps uh to communicate or get what
73.2 they want out of relationships. Perhaps
75.36 they don’t understand themselves or
77.36 perhaps they don’t understand uh human
80.0 interactions or perhaps they don’t
81.6 understand women. So, this series is
84.0 meant for you if that is. So, me being
87.6 me, a Virgo dominatrix who likes to
90.32 think and a a writer, I’ve come up with
93.119 some ideas here um about different men’s
97.28 personalities. So, perhaps this video
99.84 will help women, give them insight, but
102.32 it’s more meant for men to help them
105.439 understand themselves. So
109.6 basically what I’ve come up with is
110.88 there’s four categories of men. Okay?
113.439 There are the gentle intuitive types.
115.84 And and you as a as a man can have more
119.2 than one of these characteristics. So
120.719 there’s a gentle intuitive type. There’s
123.52 the intelligent well-mannered type.
127.04 There is someone who has problems with
129.44 women who are uncomfortable or perhaps
131.599 unsuccessful at dealing with with women.
134.64 And there are people who are very
136.72 talkative and very dominant. So when I
139.52 meet these people in my personal life
141.28 and I meet these people in my
142.72 professional life, um it’s very easy for
145.76 me to sort of identify
148.8 things about them. So let’s talk first
150.879 about the gentle intuitive type. So this
153.76 can go anywhere from somebody who is a
155.92 virgin and completely shy, will never
158.16 speak to women to someone who is just
160.16 very respectful.
162.4 One of the things that can occur in this
165.04 category with men who are sort of gentle
167.44 and intuitive is they can have had an
171.68 experience in life that has taken their
174.08 self-worth away. Now, this isn’t the
177.44 case for every man who fits these
179.44 characteristics. Some of these men do
181.92 have self-worth. They’re just very
183.84 quiet. They’re just very shy. They’re
186.239 not very forthcoming.
188.159 But if you are already a nondominant
191.68 male, you can have had many experiences
194.8 in life to teach you that that is bad
197.36 and that you are to be sort of [ __ ] on
200.159 by everyone around you. So when those
202.8 clients come to me, they’re in very good
204.879 hands because I not only will understand
208.64 them sort of intuitively
211.04 um but I know how to treat them. Okay, I
214.56 can pull that out. uh meaning
218.799 I can show these men that I respect who
222.319 they are. Okay, I respect the fact that
224.72 they are not macho. They are not
226.72 dominant. Um and that they are they can
230.64 be sensitive and shy. Um I don’t think
233.68 it’s anything to be laughed at if
235.76 somebody’s a virgin. I mean look at our
238.48 world today. Look how difficult it is
241.12 for people to just simply meet each
243.2 other despite all the technology. Um,
246.159 the world is in a in a big mess socially
249.12 right now. So, the second most dominant
252.159 type of male that I see or meet is
254.879 someone who is intelligent and
256.56 well-mannered. I really appreciate that
259.359 because I’m an intellectual. Um, these
262.32 people are able to tolerate ambiguity,
265.04 which means they’re able to come into my
268.08 space and not really know what’s going
270.24 to happen and still maintain a sense of
273.759 themselves or a sense of um, optimism or
276.96 comfort with what’s going on. Um,
279.52 they’re emotionally intelligent usually
282.72 and they’re able to roll with what I’m
284.639 doing. So, these are the people that I
286.479 get along best with because I have a
288.8 little bit in common with them. Um,
291.68 intelligent subs are my preference
294.88 because like I said, I’m intelligent.
296.72 I’m an intellectual. I like to have
298.639 conversations. Um, but I also just I
301.919 personally feel safer when I’m in any
305.759 situation, professionally or personally,
307.919 with somebody who is intelligent. I just
310.56 do. That’s just the way I am. Um, and it
313.039 could go both ways for the client. them
315.039 knowing that I’m, you know, an
316.72 intellectual that’s written books that
318.56 is authoritative can also make this type
321.84 of client feel more comfortable knowing
324.56 that we have that in common. Uh, another
328.0 sort of aspect that I see in men, and I
330.08 don’t really want to call this a type,
331.759 I’m just going to say there are men out
334.24 there that are very distraught when it
336.88 comes to relationships with women. They
338.639 may have never been able to have a
340.479 relationship. They may have had bad
342.639 experiences.
344.24 uh they’re not necessarily shy or a
346.56 virgin. They’re just someone who has had
348.32 a rough time with women. Um they might
351.919 be scared. They might be unsure how to
355.28 approach women. And their behavior.
359.759 So their anxieties about
363.039 situations in the past that have made
364.639 them feel nervous will be one reason
367.28 they might come to see me because
369.84 they’re kind of fed up. Maybe they don’t
372.639 maybe they’ve had bad experiences and
374.319 bad luck. Maybe they genuinely don’t
376.639 know how to talk to women at all. So,
380.0 they’re coming to me to receive a
382.0 different experience, a different
383.36 perspective.
385.36 Um, they often will behave as if they
389.68 feel comfortable around women, but
391.6 they’ll kind of maybe have underlying
394.88 stuff that they’re not even aware of or
397.28 they don’t understand that could be kind
399.44 of getting in the way of feeling
401.919 comfortable, like actually feeling
403.919 comfortable with women. They might be
406.0 drawn to women but not able to fulfill
409.759 what they want which is a relationship
411.759 or something related. They also might be
416.16 angry with women um or authority
419.759 authority figures in their lives and
422.72 they might be uh going into BDSM
426.72 subconsciously to kind of work this out
429.12 to create some order. And believe it or
432.0 not, BDSM does create order. There is a
435.28 set of rules. It’s a different situation
438.0 to relate between a man and a woman or
440.8 man and man or woman and woman. Um, it’s
443.36 a different scenario,
445.84 BDSM, and I will go into that in another
448.4 video because I find that very
450.08 interesting.
451.68 Now, here’s everyone’s favorite type,
454.16 uh, the annoying person. the man that is
458.0 very talkative, very dominant, totally
461.039 unaware of himself, um, ignorant and
464.72 doesn’t listen. Now, this can be from
467.919 having bad experiences in life,
470.56 especially with women or men, being
472.96 bullied, but it can also come from
476.56 just a complete and utter lack of
479.36 ability to relate to women. Okay. So,
482.639 this can be someone who is behaving in a
486.24 way that is um embarrassing or annoying,
490.0 like just too much, okay? Too much
492.479 macho, too much talking. It’s
495.12 unbalanced. Um and that’s fine when
498.24 people come through my door. And by the
499.84 way, throughout the this video series,
501.52 I’m relating both to personal things in
504.96 the real world, like dating,
506.639 relationships, and BDSM. So, I hope it
509.599 won’t be too confusing, but this type of
512.24 a man or a man that has this aspect to
514.64 his personality will be mildly dominant
518.08 in my present, will be talkative because
521.36 maybe they’re nervous and maybe they
523.76 don’t really want to give up control.
526.32 Maybe they don’t really feel comfortable
529.2 with it. They’re just intrigued by it
531.44 and they don’t exactly know how to
533.2 approach it. In dating, this kind of man
537.12 will talk over the woman. He will talk
540.08 more than the woman and he will not even
542.88 know that he is doing it. So
547.279 unless he happens to meet a woman on a
549.68 date in a dating situation and she is a
552.64 quieter type that doesn’t mind this,
555.279 he’s not going to have success.
558.64 He is a person who can’t listen. He is a
562.56 person who doesn’t have any balance when
564.48 it comes to conversation. So, that’s
566.56 what this series is going to be about.
568.08 It’s going to be about helping men that
570.48 have these different personality
573.04 behaviors
574.56 um to find more success in relationships
578.08 or BDSM.
580.959 Most men when it comes to approaching
583.279 women, I find are excited. Okay? They
586.88 they want something out of it. They
589.44 don’t know how to get there. They try to
591.92 follow the steps. Uh for example, I have
594.16 friends, female friends who are doing
595.839 online dating. Okay? So they will match
599.44 with a bunch of men and these men will
601.92 literally just talk to them for days,
604.56 for weeks, longer. Nobody wants this.
607.68 Okay? So, if you’re a man and you’re
609.44 dating,
611.839 some women will want to have
613.44 conversations before they meet you,
615.6 which I think is makes complete sense if
618.399 you’re a woman because you want to sus
620.399 this person out. Men are a lot tougher
622.8 and stronger than women. It’s only
624.48 natural for us to be the one to make the
629.12 decision. Say, « Okay, I’m ready to talk.
630.959 I’m ready to see you now. We’ve had
632.56 enough conversations. » However, it can
634.959 go both ways. Some men will kind of blah
638.959 blah blah blah blah talk and talk and
641.04 talk on an app and the woman’s like, « I
644.64 need to see you in person. I need to
646.16 hear your voice. I need to know how you
647.68 behave. » Okay? So, just understand that
650.8 everything is about balance
654.8 from dating to seeing a dom. Okay? Do
657.519 you want to see a dom not telling her
660.0 what you want? No. That would be
662.16 completely unbalanced. It’s the same
664.64 thing with dating. You have to both
667.839 create space for your own voice and say,
670.079 « This is what I would like to do. Would
672.079 you like to do this, too? This is what
674.48 I’m about. What are you about?
677.68 Would you like to meet again in a week?
680.32 Would you like a little more time? Maybe
682.88 I should back off and and let you make
685.279 the decisions. » So, this whole series
687.76 basically is about helping men find a
690.959 little bit more footing when it comes to
694.399 uh dealing with women in their lives.
697.519 So, to simplify it even more, let’s say
700.0 there’s a continuum, okay? There’s a
701.839 line between this finger and this
703.36 finger. This finger are the men I just
705.6 talked about, the ones that are
706.64 dominant. They talk too much. They don’t
709.76 inquire. They just blah blah blah blah
711.92 blah. Why? Because they’re nervous.
714.24 They’re nervous about talking to a
716.48 woman. I would say a lot of men work in
720.24 capacities with mostly men. Okay. Um, so
724.24 they’re used to dealing with certain
726.48 types of personalities, conversations,
728.48 and scenarios where they’re put in a
731.44 situation, a dating situation. They are
734.079 going to feel like a fish out of water.
737.279 So, what are they going to do? They’re
738.959 going to do their manly soap boxing and
740.959 talk about themselves. That’s what every
743.12 man does that I’ve been on a date with.
745.04 I would say 95%
747.68 of men in the past that I’ve dated do
750.72 that. And what do I do?
753.519 I literally will get up and walk away.
756.32 There was one time when I was I was
759.279 going on a walk with a guy and we had
761.839 had a meal at a restaurant. He’d been
763.519 pretty much talking the whole time. This
765.04 is about 10 years though. And we were on
768.0 this path in this park and we were
770.0 walking for maybe 5 10 minutes and I was
772.399 done. I was like, he’s not asking me
774.48 anything about myself. Therefore, I
776.079 don’t really feel like sharing. If
777.92 somebody’s not interested in me or what
780.16 I have to say, it’s usually because
782.079 they’re nervous and they don’t know how
783.6 to talk. But it makes me feel and other
786.56 women feel like they’re not interested
788.32 in us. Therefore, what the [ __ ] are we
791.76 doing with this person? So, we got to
795.279 the fork in the path and I said, « Okay,
797.2 I’m going to go now. » And he he was like
799.68 he gave me a look and I was like, « Well,
801.279 all you’ve done is talk about yourself
802.72 and I I don’t find that interesting, so
806.0 I got to go. » And he just kind of stood
808.48 there flabbergasted.
810.639 Another time I went out for sushi with
813.279 somebody and he was nice, but he
815.92 couldn’t look at me. He didn’t ask me
818.16 any questions and then he kind of
820.16 stopped talking. So at one point I
823.92 literally was looking at the floor. I
827.279 was like okay that is not me. So I’m
830.88 just saying that there’s a lot of
832.72 miscommunication and misunderstanding in
835.12 dates. Sometimes it flows. Sometimes it
839.04 looks like it’s flowing but it’s not. It
841.12 might just be one person thinking. Okay.
843.44 So the key to everything is balance.
845.44 It’s a give and take. So on the other
847.92 the other end of the spectrum over here
850.399 we have people have no spine, no voice,
854.399 no self-esteem. Okay? And that makes
859.68 a complete imbalance and the woman has
861.839 to do all the work. Do I find this on
864.32 dates? Not really. Okay. Do I find this
867.68 in my business? Yes. These people come
870.24 to me because some of them maybe are
872.56 autistic. Some of them literally have no
876.079 idea how to deal with women. They don’t
877.76 know how to talk to women. They don’t
879.12 know what they like. They might be a
880.8 virgin. They um might have had someone
884.56 in their life who was very dominating
886.72 who kind of crushed their ability to
889.199 learn how to relate better to women. And
893.12 it might be across the board. It might
894.639 be just the way they are with everyone.
896.88 Very very very quiet
899.279 and um
901.839 not able to express themselves.
906.24 So where do we want to be? Do we want to
908.16 be, you know, unable to talk or do we
910.959 want to be too talkative? We don’t want
912.32 any of that. We want to be here. So, if
914.88 you’re here, I want you to try to meet
916.88 me here. If you’re here, I want you to
918.8 try to meet me here. In the middle, we
921.68 have someone who listens, can share,
925.92 someone who is comfortable
928.72 um
930.8 telling you a little bit about
932.079 themselves without disclosing maybe on
934.48 the first date they’re kinky.
937.44 someone who is open, right? So, if
940.48 you’re finding that your date is is is
943.279 you’re a man, you’re finding your date
944.72 is doing all of the talking and you
946.56 don’t like that, it’s always good to
949.04 bring it more into the middle, right?
951.6 The ideal balance is that we are sharing
954.32 a conversation and the decision making
956.88 50/50, meaning
959.36 this has been a good coffee date. Would
961.279 you like to go out for dinner on Friday
962.88 night? Okay, somebody will say that or
967.199 If the date hasn’t been going well, um
970.24 you don’t want to make another plan,
971.92 right? You want to just say something
973.36 polite like, « Oh, it was nice meeting
974.959 you. I actually have to go now. » Um and
977.759 then if they inquire, you can say, « We
979.6 can talk in a couple of days. » Something
981.199 like that. Even if you don’t mean to, it
984.48 makes people very, very scared when they
986.399 have to say, « I don’t like you. [ __ ]
988.16 off. I never want to see you again. » So,
990.16 it’s always okay for you to say, « Oh,
992.639 maybe we’ll talk in a couple of days. »
994.32 you know, and just leave it at that.
998.079 So, good questions to ask somebody um on
1001.6 a date to make it balanced are this is
1004.8 what I do for a living. You know, I’m a
1006.56 pilot. I do this and you know, what do
1008.56 you do for a living? Then it gives the
1010.56 woman an opportunity to go, oh, that’s
1012.16 really interesting. You’re a pilot. Tell
1014.0 me more about that. And then she’ll tell
1016.16 you about herself. So, you can’t just
1019.6 start talking about yourself. You have
1022.16 to qualify it preemptively by
1025.52 understanding that the conversation
1027.199 requires balance. And that means if you
1029.919 don’t like talking, you’re going to have
1031.839 to work on that because dating is about
1034.24 getting to know the person. There are
1037.12 exceptions to this, I’m sure. Okay,
1039.52 there’s probably lots of them. But for
1041.6 the most part, the real challenge for
1043.919 men is that balance of conversation that
1046.72 is going to kind of make or break how
1049.2 successful the date goes, whether
1051.36 there’s going to be another date, and
1053.039 how you’re feeling when you’re on the
1055.6 So, thanks for being here. Um, I’m happy
1058.08 to hear some feedback from you about
1059.76 these experiences that you might have
1061.44 had or this video. Um again my point is
1065.039 just to bridge
1067.6 uh gaps for men in dealing with women
1070.96 professionally with Dom or personally.
1073.679 Um I find that I get a lot of clients
1076.64 who have these issues and that’s one of
1078.88 the reasons why they come to see me. So,
1081.28 I really hope I’m getting closer to the
1084.0 heart of the matter with my clients, and
1086.88 I would love to hear some feedback from
1088.48 you about
.
Punition Homme sur Femme : Discipline et Connexion
La punition pratiquée par un homme sur une femme explore une relation de discipline où respect et consentement sont essentiels. Sur ilovebdsm.org, découvrez des ressources pour comprendre cette dynamique et la pratiquer en toute sécurité. Une expérience de pouvoir partagé qui renforce la confiance et l’intimité entre partenaires.
